Josephus
A Humorous Short Fiction Story by Ralph Serpe
Aight, so check it out. I got this crazy story, and y’all gonna think I’m losin’ my marbles, but I swear it’s 100% legit.
It’s like this. I brought home this cat a few months ago, and this lil’ dude has a talent like nothin’ you ever seen before.
You still with me?
Aight, cool.
This cat can SING, yo. For real, it’s true! I ain’t lyin’! Don’t bounce on me now.
Not just any singin’, though. This furball belts out “La donna è mobile” like a straight-up pro! It’s the most beautiful rendition I ever heard.
Caruso? Man, this dude straight up leaves ’em in the dust! For real, I ain’t playin’.
I bet y’all wonderin’ what this lil’ man’s name is, right? What he looks like? A’ight, so we call him Josephus. Yeah, I know, it ain’t got nothin’ to do with music or anything. But I had a cat named Josephus when I was a kid, and this lil’ guy just reminds me of him, feel me?
Dang, y’all got me all emotional now. I really loved that cat, no joke. He’d be sittin’ by the door, waitin’ for me to come home from school, and then we’d play for hours on end. Sure, there was that one time he scratched my eye and blinded me, but who cares! I had nothin’ but love for that lil’ fella.
Y’all like, “Cool, but what’s he look like?” Hold up, I’m gettin’ to that. Just chill.
And that’s the other thing, yo. This cat ain’t like any other cat you ever seen. Josephus be rockin’ purple fur. I ain’t playin’! Purple fur, for real!
A’ight, a’ight, I get it. Y’all think I’m trippin’, I know it’s hard to believe, so I drew a picture of him.
Here he is last year, puttin’ on a little show at the park:
So now, y’all believe me? Cool, then stop spammin’ my comments section! I done had enough of that #@%&!
Even you, Mr. Luciano Rossini, big-shot opera singer! I seen 10 comments from you on my last video alone!
“Mr. Jeffries! Did you take my phone again?!”
Hold up, yo. That’s the nurse.