The Blind Date

“So, you turn right on Canary, then a quick left onto Oak. I’m the second house on the left. You can’t miss it,” said Kim, her voice shaky with nervous excitement.

“Got it. See ya Saturday, eight o’clock,” said Chip.

“Can’t wait!” Kim replied.

Most people get excited for a first date, with a few butterflies, maybe. Not Chip. The thought sends him into a frenzied panic.

Chip, an introvert with few friends, had been coerced into dating by his therapist, who set him up with Kim, another patient sharing the same fear of dates. The therapist, at his wit’s end with the two of them, figured, “Eh, what do I have to lose?”

Chip arrived at Kim’s just as the Bay Area was getting hit by the storm of the century. Going out now was not an option.

Kim invited Chip in; her voice drowned out by crashing thunder. They sat at opposite ends of the kitchen table, their smiles trying to hide their nervousness. They made eye contact briefly, then Kim’s cat, Penelope, made her entrance with an exuberant meow and rubbed against Chip’s leg.

Chip smiled and gave her a few scratches on the head. Chip loved animals. He was especially fond of cats and reptiles because of their calming effect on him.

“She seems to like you,” Kim said. “Normally, she’s shy with strangers, especially men.”

“Can I pick her up?” Chip asked

“Sure, If she lets you,” Kim answered, shrugging.

Chip gently picked up Penelope and placed her on his lap. The cat’s purring made him feel at ease.

After twenty minutes of listening to Chip talking to the cat, Kim had enough of being ignored. A quick text message was sent, followed by barking and scratching from the hallway. It was time for the exit plan to commence.

“You have a dog?” Chip asked, looking surprised.

“A pitbull, actually,” Kim said, faking fear. “He’s not friendly towards strangers. You should probably go.”

“Actually, I used to be a dog trainer. It’s ok. You can let him out.”

“Yeah, I can’t do this,” Kim finally admitted, giving up on her charade. “Sam, come on out!”

Sam, wearing ridiculous makeshift gloves, emerged from the hallway.

“Chip, meet Sam, my brother.”

Chip was silent for a moment before he broke out into roaring laughter.

“Sam, you do a damn fine pitbull impersonation! Had me going there,” he managed to say between laughs.

“You’re not mad?” Kim said.

Still chuckling, Chip shook his head. “Not at all. You should see the escape act I had planned for my place!”